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The Book of Mattrixx
January 2005
January 2nd, 2005 05:04 pm

"You cannot create peace without paying a robot to throw people into an active volcano."


December 24th, 2004 12:54 pm
It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees


December 22nd, 2004 09:35 pm

A DREAM: A band of 'Ocean's 11'-style thieves were breaking into a safe by drilling through a painting rather than the traditional swinging it open on hinges, and when they got through the painting, a rigged gun blasts the lead driller killing him instantly. Rather than acting surprised, the gang acts as though this was expected and the driller was expendable for the cause. Another gang member steps up and chops him to pieces (perhaps for easy removal?)

MUDDLED THOUGHTS DURING A BUSY TIME: "I know I used the shampoo .... then I shaved ... but did I wash my body? And if not, what have I been doing for the past two minutes of this shower? This would make good blog fodder."

JUSTIFIED HISSY FIT A little over three hours ago, I had to whip off my headphones in anger and go somewhere to cool off after being repeatedly hit in the head by the coatsleeves and scarf of a bizarre looking/acting/working person who "works" in the same department and decided to inhabit the tube behind me. It's just so uncalled for.

Current Mood: dirty dirty maybe?
Current Music: Modest mouse, Wretch like me, Tears for fears


December 21st, 2004 11:03 pm

Your position has been usurped.

HOPE EVERYONE is having a good holiday week, getting ready to knock back some eggnog and bourbon. The Mattrixx is spending it in the slaveshop working it to the bone. I'll be heading to Centennial after work on Friday, however.

THE SHOPPING IS DONE after a brief jaunt to some independent stores in Old Town. I bought most of the haul online, with a few items from local shops, none from a big box. Still waiting on a few of the former, hoping they reach my mailbox in a timely fashion.

A WOMAN AT a gift shopppe asked me 'if I was getting through it' and said my eyes didn;t look glazed over. So I explained that it was just because I came from the eye doc who put some yellow goo in there.

20 MINUTES later at Johnny G. Spinning, where I realized I'd forgotten a water bottle and they were out of towels, I found a lot of the yellow goo to end up on my shirt.

NETFLIX is treating me well, and I highly recommend it to anyone, most of all to anyone still patronizing Large Inadequate Big Block Box Chain. It's fast, cheap, and the queue system can't be beat. I get a film recommendation and it's in my queue a few seconds later.

THE OFFICE is a barrel of laughs right now, the monotony broken only by the brief appearance of ex-staffer Darrell who brought a box of beer for holiday distribution. Also, a fathead with a poor haircut is going off about some technological issue he knows nothing about.

IT'S BEEN RIFE with holiday treats here, which I've managed to avoid entirely except for a few delicious sushi rolls scammed from another department's eat session/white buffalo gift exchange. Caramel brittle isn't on my current food plan.

YOU MAY BE AWARE of a blog garnering a little bit of attention on the blogscene: Countdown to Oblivion, a being calling himself'Jerry' who says he'll kill himself on January 13. It was reported on the Kirk's favorite humor site Something Awful, and the blog has been flooded with comments, half pleading with him to reconsider, half telling the 'attention whore' to go ahead and do it and all being pretty boring.


Seacrest out.

Blammy wammy wowie zowie, you got pranked!

Current Mood: bemused
Current Music: queens of the stone age


December 20th, 2004 05:32 pm

By the by, everone here at the office is eschewing actual work in an attempt to beat the 1000 point record in the Penguin Whack.

Current Mood: awake awake
Current Music: Face to Face Don't Turn Away


December 20th, 2004 05:18 pm

"Will Advertising Rep #19 please dial the switchboard, Advertising Rep #19 please dial the switchboard."

THEY DON'T EVEN know our names anymore.

"Great job graphics artist #671."

"Keep it up Sportswriter #515."

This is Word Clerk #7 signing out.

Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: Jesus of Suburbia


December 15th, 2004 04:23 pm

We can't even get cable TV in Ridgemont and you want a relationship?

I ALWAYS THOUGHT that quote kind of odd, since Ridgemont seems like a bustling modern suburb, even in 1983.

HERE IT IS, a post from home on my new birthday computer. It's going to be brief, as work beckons in five. A couple of guys from Comcast came out this morning. The window was 10-noon, so their 9:30 a.m. arrival was alright by me, though I'm sure it would have been too early for some.

ANYWAY the tech was named Victor, but he was accompanied by this guy (Michael?) from the corporate side of the business. I guess the higher-ups are going on house calls to see what it's all about. So I chatted hime up about why I got the cable modem on the same day I dropped cable TV.


Skiing Thursday at Copper.

Back to work Friday with a possibility of drinks at Coopersmith's afterward.

Skiing Saturday at Breckenridge.

HOPEFULLY my post frequency will increase with this new situation.

Current Mood: bouncy bouncy
Current Music: Franz, Modest, Cake, Coldplay


December 10th, 2004 11:45 pm
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT to be born on September 8, 1977, the day they had some kind of international video-tape piracy law agreement? You'd see your birthday everytime you put in a DVD. More importantly, after you pointed it out, other people would see your birthday everytime they put in a DVD and, in theory, always remember you in a timely fashion.

AFTER A LAST FLING with "Coupling" and "Arrested Development," I quit the Blockbuster fiasco. It's a relief. I already don't eat McDonalds or shop at Wal-Mart, why was I frequenting a lesser megacorp? Overlapping the quitting, however, I enrolled in Netflix. I have about 64 movies in the queue. I already mailed back "Manhattan," the Woody Allen film many people call one of his best, but I thought to be average. Perusing the credits, however, I noticed Frances Conroy 9Six Feet under matriarch) and Mark Linn Baker (Cousin Larry Ap-lay-tone) and then spent about 15 minutes fast forwarding back through the movie trying to find them, unsuccessfully.

OH, AREN'T CARS GREAT? They get us here to there (sometimes) and drain out wallets at the petrol stand, and then the entire bank account on other occasions of Essential Exorbitant Part Malfunction

I SPENT ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS YESTERDAY and yet I'm only a fraction of the way done with Christmas shopping. You see, one "Black Attack" has been shifting funny and accelerating poorly for some time. This was annoying, but acceptable for a few weeks, but with a two-day-off stretch before me, I had a trusted ($82 diagnostic) mechanic look at it. He called by 9:30 a.m. with the bad news ("IT'S YOUR CLUTCH MAN." "AWW, MAN!") and the ridiculous estimate. I called three other shops and got similar price ranges, So called him back at 10:37. Apparently 10:30 is the deadline to "get stuff on the truck from Denver." Luckily my clutch somehow made that truck and I was calledby 5 p.m. that it was done.

WITH NO EASY RIDE TO THE SHOP, (in truth, I only called one person) I headed out on my skateboard, a 1988-era wide-style "Ninja" which I covered with carpet about 10 years ago.

ABOUT A HALF-mile into this three mile skate, I got the throbbing calf [pain in my push foot that I remember so vividly from a post leg workout mail-skate of October 2004. But I had to get there and thus it became a game of how much I could skate through the pain before having to walk awhile. Also, at some points, I was clearly skating over slush that was just beginning it dusk descent back into treacherous ice.

KEVIN SAYS if the car runs withe the new clutch for three more months, that will be cheaper than a car payment. I like to think if I own it for one-thousand more days, the clutch will be like a dollar-a-day service. Two down nine-hundred ninety-eight to go!

Current Music: Killers


December 2nd, 2004 01:26 am

On the boulevard of broken dreams.

WASTING FOOD isn't my thing so yesterday I cooked up my remaining red and green bell peppers and dumped them on a pan of stuffing I brought home from work last week and ate with the remainder of a bottle of KC Masterpiece. It was above edible, but far below delicious.

IN A 'SHINING' TRADE with The Griffin's S.O., I watched the 90s TV version. It was, how you say, "not good." It involves Steven Weber calling the most annoying, talentless child actor in the history of filmed entertainment "Doc" every 30 seconds or so, then devolving into a psycho who screams about how it's "time to take you medicine." How Stephen king allowed his name to be attached to this, I'll never know. Rebecca DeMornay, a low-rent Jennie Garth, takes the Shelley Duvall role and make a complete mockery of it. And Melvin Van Peebles as "Old Black Man"?? Tell me what classic car owner would'nt be pissed if a kid telepathically busts out his taillight, no matter how strong his shining is. filth. The Griffin's S.O. got the better part of this deal.

CATCH YOU on the flip side of this snowboarding weekend.

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier.


December 1st, 2004 09:54 pm

His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal. .

SEINFELD would love this place.

Current Mood: blank blank